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Dancing With Tina |
Author: Terry Oldes
Published: 2007-09-30 |
List price: $16.95
Our price: $13.22
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As of: November 19th, 2008 11:57:51 AM
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Customer comments on this selection.
 Telling It Like It Is
Oldes, Terry. "Dancing with Tina: A Memoir of Co-Dependency", Starbooks, 2007.
Telling It Like It Is
Amos Lassen
We have heard so much in the last few years about crystal meth and how it has negatively impacted the gay community. There have been two DVDs about it--"Meth" and "Rock Bottom" and we have heard first hand reports but nothing hits as hard as Terry Oldes's "Dancing with Tina". Oldes has written an inspiring memoir of struggles with not only crystal but with sexual identity and co-dependency and if nothing else opens your eyes about the dangers of crystal, this book will.
"Dancing with Tina" is graphic, honest and personal and is straight forward and it disturbs even with the wonderful humor and wit that it contains--but it is also inspirational and compelling. The amount of crystal usage in our community is alarming and we have to thank Oldes for giving us this brutally honest book.
In the introduction we learn that Oldes began writing this book as a way to look at himself and he holds nothing back--he tells us intimate details of his life which in some cases are not at all flattering but it is his honesty that pulls us into his story. It is frightening to learn about the thoughts of an addict and how one man's addiction can influence the lives of others. What Oldes experienced, I hope will not be experienced by others--the loss of sanity, the time at the bottom, and the waste of a life. Oldes was able to leave that behind him before it was too late and he learned a great deal about the experience.
As I said, Oldes holds nothing back and reading it is to feel what he did but without the consequences. He gave me a look at a world that I do not want to be a part of ad after reading with "Dancing with Tina"; I am firmly convinced that such a thing will never happen. Oldes does not judge nor does he condemn--he offers ideas so that we can make our own decisions. What we have to watch for is that anyone can become an addict and we must remember what the consequences are. Oldes gives us an enlightening look by someone who has been there so that we will not fall into the same trap.
Insight Into Addiction and Codependency
Crystal meth abuse has reahed alarming levels in the gay male community. This heartfelt, pull-no-punches memoir is a front-line account of addiction and codependency. The author, Terry Oldes, has written a brave book that lays bare his "dance" with "tina", the nickname gay male users label crystal methamphetamine. Oldes says he started writing the memoir as a therapeautic exercise and it often reads that way, leaving the reader with a an almost uncomfortable level of intimacy with the author, who's willing to pour out his soul, no matter how unflattering the picture. But it's just this level of honesty that allows us to see into the mindset of addiction and how it can almost innocuously slip into the lives of those who aren't on guard. Fortunately for Oldes, his "dance" was relatively short-lived and although there is a harrowing account of a near loss of sanity, his time at rock bottom seemed to have been blessedly short-lived. The happy ending is that Oldes was able to walk away from his addiction before it took too great a toll on his life and health, and to have even learned deep lessons about himself in the process. For anyone living with addiction personally or the addiction of someone close to them, Dancing with Tina is insightful and compelling reading.
Excellent book
I had the pleasure of reading "Dancing with Tina" It was a page turner...Every page had you wondering what was going to happen next! You can tell that Terry Oldes put his mind and soul into this tell-all book. Job well done! Hopefully many more books to come. Terry Oldes is wonderful writer.
Wow! An honest take on the gay meth world
All I can say is WOW! As a gay man who is a former crystal meth user (I've been clean for 5 years now), this book is MY story, even though it's written by someone else. Terry educates and gives the reader a look into a subculture of the gay community few people are willing to even acknowledge exists.
At times I found the book very funny, the use of humor as a tool sheds some light into some very dark places, yet Terry's not afraid to talk about the harsh side of it all too. While some people may be shocked, this stuff happens, I know, and it's real stories like this that will help people realize the seriousness of this drug. I like that this book is non-judgemental and that the author is willing to accept his own responsibility regarding his own choices.
This is not an in-depth analysis of recovery with lots of statistics, it's almost like a theraputic day to day diary of the situations that occured in his life. He says himself that he wrote this book in the first 6 months of his recovery in order to have hope that he was going to get through it. It can take years to figure out why one does drugs, it's almost always about some deep pschological problem within the user and the author admits this. This book is educational and about letting go. He certainly achieved that, in my opinion.
He handles the sexual element with finesse and I would certainly not call this erotica. The sexual component needs to be discussed when studying crystal meth in the gay community, it is NOT the same type of addiction as meth use in the heterosexual community. I was impressed with the way Terry handled it. All I can say is that this is a ver well done story.
 Honest Talk about Meth in the Gay Community a Worthwhile Read
Dancing with TINA is a worthwhile read for anyone with an interest in personal memoirs, drug addiction, co-dependency, gay culture . . . in short, just about anyone with a healthy curiosity about what makes people "tick." Like "Smashed," a memoir about a young woman's alcohol abuse through her teens and young adulthood, it provides us insight into some of the root causes of drug use/abuse. You can be a normal, seemingly "healthy" individual able to hold down a job, have friends, balance your checkbook, etc., and still have internal, personal struggles that can throw you off-balance for a while. As someone who considered herself to be fairly sophisticated in the ways of the world, I was surprised to learn some things about a subset of gay culture that I didn't know before. I also recognize how dangerous meth can be, even for the casual user. Terry Oldes also does a wonderful job of balancing the darkness with humor, and his honesty about his experience and how he felt going through it is refreshing. I for one am glad he was able to pull himself out of the rabbit hole and wish him well.
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