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Facing Codependence : What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives |
Author: Pia Mellody
Published: 1989-06-14 |
List price: $16.95
Our price: $12.69
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As of: January 07th, 2009 09:03:42 PM
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Customer comments on this selection.
 Book came just as described. Thanks.
This is one of the best books on codependence. Read it and your life will change.
The Best Book on Co-dependence There Is Barre None!
This is the best book on Co-dependence I have ever read. And I have read a few. And Pia Melody does it without any put downs. Co-Dependence is not something you can choose or not choose to do. It is a result of things that have been done to you. And you cannot begin to conquer it until you fully understand what happened to you. This Pia Melody does with such insight and understanding solely because she lived it. If you or someone you know is dealing with co-dependency (and most of us are) do them a favor and tell them to get this book!
A Classic
Mellody and her coauthors, to the enduring benefit of the practice of psychology, do their part to rescue the technique of digging through the past from its Freudian fixation on Oedipus.
Using a working definition of childhood "abuse" as any behavior by caregivers that is "less than nurturing," she relentlessly and in gruesome detail disects the roots of dysfunctional adulthood dependencies.
I agree with the reviewer who complained that the term "codependence" has become too much of a catch-all. Having a prefix indicating "two," that word is better reserved for particular kinds of dysfunctional relationships.
That said, this book succeeds brilliantly at its task. Which is to allow individual readers to face up to exactly where the unhealthy dependencies in our lives come from. Which in adulthood result, not just in codependent (instead of "interdependent") relationships, but in a myriad of perplexing issues that sabotage our lives.
A classic from the pioneer who originated the concept of "boundaries" in psychology. Get ready to embrace your demons.
Awesome.
I have read a dozen books on the subject. For me, this was the first semi-clinical book which explored how codependency is not only behavior inherited but can also be passed on down to the next generation, even coming from a parent with the best intentions completely unaware of the problem. The author has a deep awareness of the problem's subtleties and this is certainly one of the pioneer books that should be in every library concerning codependency.
Parenting (and Re-Parenting) 101
In what may be one of the best books ever on functional parenting, Mellody and the Millers have tackled the single most common psychiatric phenomenon of our time, deconstructed it into language most can grasp, and set forth a means of re-parenting those who didn't get the real deal the first time around.
For mental health professionals, this may also be one of the best books available for patient (with sufficient ego strength) and/or family education on Kernberg / Preston Level One and Two Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as for family education with regard to pretty much the entire spectrum of borderline, narcissistic, passive-aggressive and obsessive-compulsive personality disorders.
I have read at least a dozen lay and professional books addressing the topic of "codependence." While Melody Beattie's and Patricia Evan's work, and the -Codependents Anonymous- and new -Adult Children of Alcoholics- "big books" -are- terrific stuff, this looks like the most accessible, research-grounded, well-organized and tool-delivering of the lot. (Anyone seriously set upon recovering from boundary difficulties with others is well-advised to just read them all, of course.)
Owing to the input of the Millers, -Facing Codependence- is more a product of modern "patient education" or "psychoeducation" theory (see Rankin's and Stallings's -Patient Education- or any of the books in the "Compact Clinicals" series) than the other books currently available. This is not the hodgepodge of useful data developed by committee in the two afforementioned 12 Step groups, and is more functionally set forth in the fashion of Lev Vygotsky's "scaffolding" than Beattie's more famous or Evans's more narrowly targeted books.
Beyond that, the progressive, level-upon-level organization of the book and concrete examples of both functional and dysfunctional parenting make it hands-down one of the finest guides to raising effective, pathology-free children ever published. If it were up to me, this would be required reading at the college freshman level.
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